Steffie's World

Finally its wkend~

Really thkful dat its fri tomolo. Tis wk passes terribly slow... n torturous. Fri, Sat, Sun....... soon, i'll hav my break. Day work, Night bbq, plus insomia till 3-4am before really dozed off. :( Aniwae, tis only an annual event. Soon it will b over. =D

I was terribly late today cuz i woke up at 9am! I cldnt believe it! Quickly washed up, and hired a cab. Otherwise 10am i wld still nt in office. For e first time, my boss is earlier den mi. Next wk, he's outstation again. I think i'm goin to miss him big time.

Felt really guilty today. Was kinda nasty to someone who doesnt deserve a wee bit of my nonsense. Haiz. I really need to reflect upon my own behavior. SIGHZ.

I'm doin some handover to a fellow colleague... i cld see the struggle in the eyes, and felt bit bit worried. I think she's fully capability of doing her work well, definitely beta den mi. But i just hav tis fear in mi, and dun wish to let her go through wat i had been through previously during my handover fm my pre-decessor.

I think its cuz of my previous bad experience of being stranded alone carrying a super heavy portfolio -tis min handover.. the next min ur predecessor is gone.. and u hav to do everything on ur own. I freaked over at my helpless stage den. The nights spent in e office till 12-1am, checkin on historical datas.. cuz nt familiar wif e system, takes a long route to get the necessary data. No one really bother to help u. The nights having to beg promoters to teach mi tis and tat, running through every models till 1am in the office. Its those helpless nights when u hav to do it urself, and nobody in e office seems to bother hw u r coping.... or ppl juz give u half-hearted answers, some even purposely give u wrong directions for u to bang the wall........ It was nothing new then to break dwn in office in tears.

Dats why i dun dare to overload her, but there seems to b not much sense of urgency in her as well. Dat made mi panic cuz there's things which need to b done fast, yet as the days creeped by, my heart kancheong for her. Its like e emperor nt kancheong, mi tis stupid fella so panicky.

Prob my boss is right dat when u work in our company long enuff, u wld need to learn to juggle and priorise. And its nt right for mi to still run the things for her. Aiya.. i dunno la. Just so so so tired.

even aft so many yrs....

Even aft so many yrs.... i'm still tired out every BBQ night. Last yr was alright, its easier to juggle wif roadshows, cuz its very operational. Tis yr, its really bad esp wif days filled wif meetings, backlogs to clear, plus bad health plus lack of rest... OR MAYBE.. age is catching up. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I can still laugh, meaning i'm still alright. =p

Be4 i kick start my work... and b4 its reaches 12am, i just spare myself some personal time for my thots. My colleague called mi and unloaded his anger, disappointment etc etc... n i becomes a sponge, tryin to absorb it all. Isnt dat wat we do when frens coming to us crying for help. I hope i wont b too affected cuz discouragement spreads like wild fire... e min u noe it, u prob fallen a victim to it.

My last kickboxing class tis evening. Had stomach cramp e whole afternoon, but i really juz dun wanna missed it. When e trainer saw mi - she asked mi if i hav taken my 100plus. DAMN! I forgot. ~_~ I had 1-2 bottles/cans in my shop during my BBQ breaks. But today, i did not take any during lunch time. HAIZ... during coolin dwn - Cramp again. Aiyo. She kept going "Ask u drink 100plus, u took 2 days back! Must be today today today...." OPPS. lolz. I beta make sure no cramps durin e new sessions. So malu. Was performing so well, den durin finishing race, u hav to slow dwn cuz of cramps. Cannot accept. Muz ask eve to remind mi to buy 100plus before e class.

ok lar.. its back to work. First... Philips shaver market share.. *wink*..jaa mata~ 

my thots...

suddenly this thot came to my mind.. the person u marry is usually not the person you loved the most.

I think i prob will fall into this category. lolz. I always rem tis article i read. In ur life, u may date 3 kind of men. One who u love the most, One who loves u the most, and One whom u will marry. Depending on the circumstances u get to meet... it will be perfect that the man u marry is the one whom u love the most and who loves u the most. That is the ideal world. I think, i dun live in such ideal world. Ideal world doesnt exist for stephanie.

I have met....e person who loved mi the most, unless the next in line loves mi even deeper. lolz.. I have met...e person who i love the most. i prob wont love any one as deeply as the feeling i hav on him. So... e man i marry, will never b the one i love the most.... lolz. so skeptical.

My index finger is swollen! muz b full day holding that tongs. My fingers on my right hand, were so painful dat i dun even hav e energy to clench my fist. ~_~ Gosh, 10 more days to go. So tired. But everyone is the same. Today, its full force, so more manpower to replace. But individually its still very tired, cuz u still stand n work for full day. When nt bbq, den u wld b packin, or u wld b handling sales, or u wld b replenishing e stock... the list goes on. Anyway, must bite our teeths through this. =D i'll b fine *wink*

dread wkend... cuz it means.. BBQ whole day!

1145pm.. mi n mum strolled back home aft bbq. my bro n gf still in e shop clearing up..e youngest one aldy accompanied e gf hm. So poor thing - even gfs hav to come to help. HAHAHAH. In e past, Kelly, Chia, even Melvin came to help out... i think our partners all very poor things. Cuz otherwise, 2-3 weeks u cant see us at all. Anyway, they earn their keeps..

The sky was so clear leh! cldnt help bt kept glancing up e sky! so many stars lit up e sky. Pretty sight! =D

Tis afternoon, aft lunch, e gals wanna drink bubble tea. As they were queuing, i cldnt help bt chk out e stalls ard e BT shop.... i bought tis... I love e designs.. got pink, purple, red, blue.. i took e black one. =D I opened the pouch, to find not 1 but 4 pouches of diff sizes. Like Do Re Mi Fa So... hahaha. I was so surprised. So cute, den i cldnt resist lor. Onli $3/- HAHAHA... gd buy, best buy. ^-^ So happy. The baby one can b a coin pouch, followed by for notes, den... hmmm hp pouch... den e biggest can use as cosmatic pouch. ^O^

Met HK for dinner. Yummy... He passed mi my pressie~ M so happy to see my fav beer. I was still fussing over my mum finishing my beer and hav no supply liao. N junior tay seems so relunctant to help mi buy. Think he prob wanna buy for his own. Cant rem i did tell him, but its nice dat he rem. OH... lolz. i cant imagine mi havin any thing of helo kitty on mi. lolz. i muz hav really appeared really girlish to him. HK got mi Helo Kitty cup noodles. lolz. Here u go....

tired....

Really tired.. work in the day, bbq in the night... my right wrist aldy aching.  =( And my hair smell of BAK GUA! ~_~ Two more wks to go.

Lucky tis wk, both my bosses away in Holland, so nt much pressure. Quick quick do my work, quick quick rush home. Next wk, wont b so easy liaoz.

Heard fm my parents n brothers who heard fm customers and frens dat cruz commented he luv our bak gua over e radio again, or on his blog. So touched. =D

was in a shock to hear Heath Ledge's sudden death. I quite like him, esp in The Patriot. So wasted hor. Same age leh. SO young.... I think he quite cute.

those wan to order bak gua, pls just sms mi. dun call mi, high chance cant reach one la. =D

exhausted!!!

Finally... today is over. YHEW... bt i'm so so so tired. Lack of sleep, plus e workout totally is totally out-to-kill-u. lolz.

So here i am, using my OSIM U-Squeeze (cuz i wan my legs to b as nice as 林志玲- her 美腿不怕累 =D), laptop on my.. lap of cuz.. wif another massager on my bum, typing my entry. SHIOK. hahaha. Seriously ah, u thinkin of wat pressie to buy for ur parents - go buy this OSIM U-squeeze to relieve our parents aching feet or PHILIPS Infracare to relieve their muscle ache. Its practical lah, my parents r on their feet the whole DAY, running e biz, whole body achin here and there. Besides, while they using e pdts, they can still watch tv, read papers, sleep. My bros n i hav bought so many of health related pdts for them ar, i tell - like a fab - 2weeks, they dun use liao. &%#@ waste my money. For these two items, everyday anyone of the family members using. Even my bros' gf use oso leh. SEE - value for money. Consider la, i hav lobang for best deals. =D

Today's moon is so round, and the sky is so clear leh. Miss the midnite star gazing.

Starting tmr.. its bbq time. These past 2 days been so busy dat cldnt go up to help.

aijor.. cant click on comments leh!!

EILEEN!!! Aijor.. i cldnt click on e comments so cant respond to u. anyway.. nothing serious. kena poked cuz went for tis CT scan for e brain cuz been havin frequent headache. my ox oso kept yaking yaking yaking... so go lor. Nurse injected some liquid into my body so dat e scan b clearer. She kuku - pointed twice cuz one bloody needle aft she poked - den she realised she cldnt find my vein. stupid rite. Scan results' normal la.. so nothing to worry abt. Its more cuz of work stress la.. watelse.

Today's full day meeting.. so many emails cant read.. aiya, dun care liao. so tired. haiz. Can u imagine meetings aft meetings, all they bother is just on shavers shavers shavers, n it cld easily went 1.5hr juz on tis topic. On one hand, i appreciate e concern on tis, bt its equally stressed cuz its majiam interrogation session, and of cuz u brain muz think really fast la. Then muz b careful on wat u talk abt. If nt, e world jumps on u. Den u r dead. lolz. Every meeting i always went in wif a mindset - either i make it, or i break it.

So hard to swallow dat i cldnt go korea for dat meeting, had to give it up to another person. I doubt i wld get any other chance for biz trip. Anything on Shaver discussion? Come Singapore. WAH LAUZ. Tell mi - wahz so many new products in Holland. Got tis, got that... *&^% bloody hell. Since i nt there to see, dun tell mi lar. I cant imagine, i cant picture leh. =( WOnder when i ever get a chance to go. SO envious of my junior tay. Dubai la, holland la, hk la, bangkok la... 

ANYWAY - one day down and one more to go. cuz... everyone's on flight tues night!! woohoo!!! =D so happy. hahahahaha.

lost n found...

i was runnin through my picz when i came upon tis photo where e background showed some snapshot of my blog in somewhere. I think n think n think...... i cldnt rem where it is leh. *giggle*

managed to locate it, thk god e password is correct, i went in... and took a look. Steffie's secret garden. It recorded hw i dealt wif my breakup, my agony choosin over job offers, my days as a trade mkting person, hw i battled wif another liking... Seems so long ago, but yet its barely a yr plus. I read through e entries... so funny. Esp records of my initial few mths in my company - i think i was happy working there. Tis made mi laugh -

"when our side buzzin wif work, Alicia fav sentence... 'noooo worries, life is good".. Jon wld hop by in front and warned of my permanent frown... gary wld pop his head sayin "welcome to consumer sector".. daren when walkin past wld chk on hw mi doin, and his fav was "hang on there".. Kim fong wld join mi for coffee, biscuit n tidbits. hahahaha.... ^O^ OH.. den old man wld stand in front of my partition askin "Hi stevee, hw u doin?""

Omg.. brought back soooo much memories. LOLZ! Esp dat "life's great!", and "steveee" My ex-GM, cldnt pronouned my name properly, always 'steve' here, 'steve' there... E guys wld joked abt his wrongly pronounced words, or teased mi abt my new name.

Memories - sweet~
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

headache again.. aiyooo.....

stoned.. bad headache.
stucked.. cuz dunno can take painkillers or nt
confused.. cuz dunno can mix med or nt
decided.. beta dun risk, dun take anything &%$#
pissed.. cuz damn painful ~_~'

think i hav done considerable quite alot of stuff today. lolz. tis morning, i skipped my fav HK series shows n went for meeting in office. Had to arrange on Sat, otherwise my boys/gals cant make it. Aniway, by e time i reached hm, my show's finished. Urgh - totally missed e last episode, dunno wats e ending.. haiz.. nvm la.

forced myself to nap, aft woke up, my headache hit mi. i assumed muz b cuz of too long a nap...HAHA. When it subsided, decided to go Courts Tampines for mkt visit. My promoter there sms mi last nite dat she's transferred back. Since has been a while since i saw her, so go chk out e store n find more info fm her. I was doin my usual mystery shopping on competitors' pdts, when my promoter came over to say hello. I was like 'shit - cover kena blow', she winked at mi, quickly told e competitor promoter dat mi her fren, keepin mum abt my identity. Yhew. But.. she's so cute.

The headache hit mi again. Tis time, its really bad, cuz it accompanied wif nausea. Never once, i hav them hittin mi together. Usually i hav them seperately. Doc has been concerned if hav nausea feelin together wif headache. AIYO. hope it wont turn from a tension headache to something more serious. Haiz. Tmr, i think i beta juz rest at home. Mon - kena scold, kena scold lor. Since its normal to b reprimanded. lolz.

Friday.. finally!

Today enjoyed myself durin tis staff communication day. We were asked to write out what we are Glad, Sad, Mad abt our company. Out of 4 teams, you can see 1 team is totally out of e league - meaning super serious team, even discussion oso serious. 2 teams are so damn noisy throughout their individual discussions, but very similar in their thots n conclusions. I shall keep e last team aka my team hushhush. But we hav our laughs too la =D

i arched my brow to hear at least 2 teams mentioned - "MAD cuz always wrongly being scolded." lolz. i put my hands n legs up when a team said "SAD cuz no handsome guys" LOLZ!!!! AND... "GLAD tat we still hav a job!" muahahaha.

Mood was still alright on tis friday... finally reached a settlement on dat stupid 300sets of shaver/toothbrush. My GM one word really solve alot of problem. Hmmm.. its nice to noe dat there's support fm all ard. Open discussion, n reaching a concensus for a common objective. Just dat too many chiefs wantin to make decisions.

Mood was affected in e night when my colleague called mi to gossipe. Sld call it 'speculation'. E more i hear e analysis, i freak out even more. Din noe tis colleague of mine noe soooo much which i dunno. Bt yet again, i live in a cave, only focus on work. Me such person sure die - in such highly political scene. lolz. AIYA! so many speculation on the new structure or WoW.. blah blah blah. juz hav to take it easy ba. Its tough for mi - but i TRY! ^O^

my med is workin fine.. till tis afternoon when e headache stroke mi again -__-" Hmmm.. i must rem to tell dat doc when i go back next mth. But e pills r helpin on my insomia. Wkend wld b disturbing cuz bit bit dread of monday, really hoping for Wed to come... cuz e heads b gone n i'll b free! Forget to chk wif my indian chief if he wld b gone too. DAT will definitely make my day. I have e weirdest thot for a lean structure, e local pdt mktin team might juz b wiped out and let e regional pdt team take over.... perhaps like hw FMCG operates - trade mkting rules for local. Hmmm.. wat e hell.

gtg... my soya beancurb waitin for mi~

steffie kena poked again and again... Ouch!

Dunno why, felt really drained today. exceptionally shacked out.

Din really sleep well last night, prob barely 2 hrs. Went to the TTSH. I hate goin to hospitals for the most obvious reasons - i dun like e sights.

I never thot this wld ever happen to mi, but *&%$ e nurse was injecting some fluid into my hand, and first trial on my right hand - OPPS, sorry! Den she pulled out the needle. She said she cldnt find my vein. WAH LAUZ!!!!!!! Den she headed for my left hand. Poked again. She said - *its nt painful, its only needle* WAH LAUZ!!!!

Now, i hav two needles holes on two hands. KAOZ. Never thot i wld become victim of such kuku person. *&%$#!!! Its particularly alarming when i feel dat cold fluid running through my veins up to my arm. ~_~ Suddenly i thot of dialysis. =( Nt a gd feelin, i tell u. I still heartpain of my needle holes. bloody hell.

So happy dat my boss n FC came dwn to meet mi for lunch. Back to back meeting, still willingly come over. =D

Dun wan to talk abt work.. e usual unhappiness... bt well, it happens all e time. Its everything on the mind. lolz. watever.

nearly 3am.... needs a break.

Coming to 3am - i am totally shacked out... i wish i cld sink into my bed, n let my mind and body get a gd nite rest...

Not until e file is being uploaded. *sighz heavily* Tis file i m workin on, its a common enemy to all mkters. E last round i input e info, i suffered a panic attack. Today i told myself... do it slow and steady. *&$%@ it if i cant finish. lolz. No choice leh, nobody can help. Tis chestpain is increasing its frequency. I wonder if it has been more appropriate for a chest chkup, rather den a brain scan. sighz.

It worries me to know my partner has headache problem.. cuz its bloody hell stress related, and once it starts, it will never go away! Hope its really as wat he claimed - isolated case. Otherwise, i think he can accompany mi to my scan tmr. lolz.

i'm hungry. lolz. used too much energy focusing on e work... i hav tis craving for soya beancurb for e longest period again. wonder when i cld get to eat it. lolz. I rem e long lunches where we had our prawn mees and then soya beancurb. =O~~ Stomach's shouting in protest. lolz.

Gd, e file's done up. gtg.. get some rest. nites~

End of wkend...

Juz back nt too long frm a wedding dinner in Hilton hotel. It has been a long while since i last went there. I rem e hotel's carpark so well cuz it was so damn challenging to park my ex-bf's daddy's 7 seater car. lolz. The food was so-so, a pity i was seated at a corner where cldnt really get to see e stage, bt e couple r juz so funny n compatible. lolz.

i sld rest ya, tmrs start of a new wk. a day where engine has to b geared for the entire 5 days ahead. sighz - no motivation. I hav heard so many of e mgers commentin tiredness, lack of motivation blah blah blah. its contagious. lolz.

ytd nite was horrible.. i was awake till 4am, and tis morning i was up even before 9am. AND... i m still nt tired nw. I m really like those old grannies who only need to sleep 4-5hrs. lolz. Like my fren who commented in her blog - those who can eat is really fortunate. To Steffie - those who can sleep is really fortunate. Esp comin fm mi who suffers insomnia.

So full nw... before headin home, we grabbed some ice-cream fm McDonalds. yummy yummy. Cuz hav been suffering fm nausea feelin, dun really dare to eat much, guess he prob wants to make mi feel slightly beta, so get mi sth which satisfies my taste buds. tsk tsk. hope i can get to sleep soon... =)

kinda tired...

Its only thursday, and m aldy pretty drained. Things r juz diff when my indian chief is back. ~_~'' Its really common sight to hear mi raising my voice over the phone; slamming dwn e phone cursing 'i hate u'; or simply called out my fav colleague and repeating e same statement - 'xx, i am SO ANGRY!'. He juz grinned and asked 'wat happened', though he aldy noe i wld simply ignore his question. lolz.

see, my team - we absorb anger fm one and another. hahaha. no one can b as champion as tat idiot sitting in e room. His champion move almost threw mi off my chair. He came up to mi and uttered "na bei" and went back in again. *faint* @_@

stress level is indeed to e peak - wats new? lolz.

i miss niu niu!!! AIYO!!!!! if u dun call mi, u sure noe i m goin to ignore ignore ignore u!!!! One thing i love my galfrens - when they started givin their evil comments on ppl whom i dun like, can make mi laughed my head off - more evil den mi. LOLZ. Simply made my day. =p Everyone bitches ya? =p

So many weddings to attend.. tonite one, tis wkend one, den next mth oso, next next mth oso... i think such monies donate out, dunno when can come back. muahahahahahaha...

Work woes....

Not in a particular gd mood today cuz kena gunned dwn in a meeting. Definitely a huge discount off - whoelse to blame bt myself. Sometimes i got so confused dat mechanics openly rejected in the past and agreed dat they were useless, suddenly being glorified abt. I had aldy threw e ideas out of e window when suddenly e world came to mi screaming for it. ~_~''

Felt so tired. I din even enjoy my kick-boxing today. Had wanted to throw more punches, bt bloody hell i was late. Even before i really warm up, its warm dwn liao. &^%$

My facebook ar... aiyoo.. give up. Pls stopped racing wif my gumMiE cuz poor fella, i hav no time to feed him, pet him, and there u r, keep racing him. Shirley's Agogo is damn strong wat - go race him la!!!!

Wet wet night.. i'm listenin to e rain drops as i typed. Hope tonight can sleep well, but my tum tum is so full dat i doubt i wld sleep any earlier.

Guess work's on my mind, dat i think its tough to get my mind to rest tonite. Got so sick abt it at times. Sick of sales ppl telling mi cant meet ur target, but all begging to sell more of other pdts. Sick of answering to their figures when i have no control over it. Same old issue again and again, year after year. "Do something different from this yr", i was told. Bloody hell, if i hav blank cheque like in e past, 60-70% market share - i give u. Damn pissed. As much as i love this job, i'm getting sick of all these shit. And its only e beginning of the year!!!

if given a choice.. i wish i never get to see it.

was reading eileen's blog when i came upon one site.. something which given mi a choice, i really wld juz wish i never get to see it.

dad said my condition sldnt allow for any chilling evening wind. i m sat rite in front of my windows, on my laptop, wif full blast of the chill breeze.... i.. dun actually feel a thing - cuz my heart aldy stoned chilled. The images flooded my mind, e words flashing in front of my eyes, the only consciousness sense is... numbness.

HAPPY 2008~

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Walking medicine machine.
i'm been sick since new year's eve. ~_~ And here i am... on MC since yesterday. Tmr back to office, bt tmr aldy Fri. Dunno hw to pick up dat momentum. Felt like a walking medicine feeding machine. Been takin so many pills lately. flu, fever, throat, cough, painkillers lar... u name it, i hav it. Was tellin my doc, i'm sick of takin med. Urgh. Everyone asked mi to rest rest rest rest.. den i online, watched tv blah blah... they said tat is nt resting. resting = sleep. DUH?!!! Steffie's definition of resting = no work. Resting doesnt not mean SLEEP. =p

Before i kena brought dwn by illness, I was looking forward to gear up for 2008 on 2 Jan. We have a lot of new faces in office, and despite me trying to link the faces to the names, sometimz i just missed a couple of them out. You noe how lousy i am wif names. I am very much lookin forward to the new structure, new team... i rem i had wanted badly to kick start e first day of work of tis brand new yr, wif the pdt intro/training to e new team. Ended up, fall sick. I was afraid i present till half way - puke. lolz. So! no choce. But i think my partner wld b more den happy to hav e attention of these lovely ladies for the entire 2 hrs.

Recently the wind's really chilling ya? It reminds mi of australia's weather. I quite enjoyed standing outside feeling e breeze brushing through my face - of cuz, cladded in thick clothings. Enjoying e breeze is one thing, cant afford to catch e cold nw dat mi aldy sick. Dad was screaming at mi dat i opened my window big big. lolz. =p

I hav had enuff of tasteless porriage n plain water.. i cant stand tasteless stuff! so poor thing - ME. Anyway, oso not much appetite. Hehe.. ytd i hav special ice-cream delivery! Sooo touch, and i finally taste sweet sweet yummy yummy ice-cream. ^-^ So happy. =O~~~